Too Hot To Handle's Brenden Durell has previously told TheThings about his passion for helping others connect - but what more do we know about his work as an intimacy coach?
We sat down with the athlete-turned-intimacy-coach to hear more about how he got started in the space.
Plus, the Netflix reveals his top tips for anyone hoping to become intimate with life.
From Baseball Pro To Personal Development Coach
Brenden has been an intimacy coach for the last decade, but prior to that, he was a professional baseball player.
It's safe to say, that was a gig he loved.
After all, he points out, it's thanks to baseball that he was able to see so much of the world, and meet so many people.
So, why the pivot into personal development?
"I was living in Germany, in East Berlin, and I got to a point where I just didn't love hitting a ball for money anymore. It just wasn't doing it for me, you know? I still had a team, a spot, and a contract coming in, but I just felt like there was more to the world, for me."
Having been asked for advice for years, leading up to that decision, coaching felt like the natural choice - and the rest is history.
Brenden Talks Intimacy Coaching
As for how he got into intimacy coaching, specifically, Brenden smiles that it was a long time coming.
"I felt lonely my whole life, in a lot of ways, and I'm very blessed to have traveled so widely and met so many fascinating people, who showed me some of the most epic experiences I've had."
Through those experiences, Brenden came to realize an important detail about himself.
"I wanted to be more intimate with life, and live life to its fullest."
Soon enough, people took notice - and his passion for experiencing everything life has to offer in a deeper way began attracting others.
Enter, a coaching practice, as well as his gig on THTH.
So, How Can We Get Intimate With Life?
It's not exactly surprising that Brenden has had incredible success as an intimacy coach.
After all, he explains, "A lot of people can relate to getting so caught up in the routine, but wanting more out of life."
So, what's the first step to fostering that connection?
For starters, he suggests, "Tune into what you actually want. A lot of people are living their lives based on what other people say they should do - but what is it that you want?"
And, he adds, it's a great idea to get practical.
"Get a piece of paper and a pen, and make an inventory of the things you enjoy in your life. Then, narrow it down to how you can experience it, maybe not all the time, but at least more than you do now."
It's worth noting that that's a piece of advice he's given a number of previous Too Hot To Handle contestants, since joining the show.
"I'll always tell them to keep the horse blinders on, and not allow other people to determine their route. Because I did allow that to determine so much of my life, and at a detriment to myself. So I relate that to the cast - like, if you've got something on your heart, you've got to go for it."
Plus, he points out, the stakes are often a little higher for the contestants.
"They're under tremendous pressure, being in the spotlight and keeping up with the Joneses ... I want them to know it's okay to be a pattern disruptor."
... But Getting Intimate With Life Doesn't Require A Ton Of Props
Obviously, Too Hot To Handle cast members have a major advantage over the average person - they have Brenden and all his props, for check-ins!
However, he laughs that, for the average person, fostering a better connection with the self doesn't always require a ton of activities.
In fact, he reveals that for most activities, he's thinking on the spot.
"I actually don't create the workshops!" he laughs.
"I'll get a call at 9pm, and they'll tell me they need me at 8am the next day ... and then I get there, and they go, 'We have four basketballs, two cricket bats, and four crayons ... what can you teach them about sexuality?' And I go, 'What am I going to do with all these props?!'"
It's precisely that which makes him love the show, though.
"I wouldn't change it, because I also get to dig into myself for ideas," he beams.
That's just as well - because we're hoping to keep seeing him on our screens for years to come!
