We all know Deadpool star Ryan Reynolds for his wicked sense of humor and trolling moments with his wife Blake Lively. But behind the scenes, the actor struggles with anxiety which may have been a factor in his decision to take an acting sabbatical this 2022. In a recent interview on CBS' Sunday Morning, the R.I.P.D. star said that when waiting backstage during talk show appearances, he'd always feel like "he's literally going to die." Here's the real story behind his anxiety issues.
Ryan Reynolds Has Had Anxiety His 'Whole Life'
"I've had anxiety my whole life really. And you know, I feel like I have two parts of my personality, that one takes over when that happens," Reynolds confessed in the same interview. "When I would go out on, like, Letterman, back in the day, I was nervous. But I remember I'd be standing backstage before the curtain would open, and I would think to myself, 'I'm gonna die. I'm literally gonna die here. The curtain's gonna open and I'm just gonna be, I'm just gonna be a symphony of vomit,' just, like, something horrible's gonna happen!" He also revealed that he fakes a cool and collected persona when he's out there.
"But as soon as that curtain opens—and this happens in my work a lot too—it's like this little guy takes over. And he's like, 'I got this. You're cool,'" he continued. "I feel, like, my heart rate drop, and my breathing calm, and I just sort of go out and I'm this different person. And I leave that interview going, 'God, I'd love to be that guy!'" In May 2021, the Red Notice star marked Mental Health Awareness month by opening up about his anxiety. "Part of it is that I have three daughters at home and part of my job as a parent is to model behaviours and model what it's like to be sad and model what it's like to be anxious, or angry," he wrote on Instagram.
"That there's space for all these things. The home that I grew in, that wasn't modelled for me really," he continued. "And that's not to say that my parents were neglectful, but they come from a different generation. I know that when I felt at the absolute bottom it's usually been because I felt like I was alone in something I was feeling. So I think when people talk about it, I don't necessarily dwell on it or lament on it, but I think it's important to talk about it. And when you talk about it, it kind of sets other people free."
Ryan Reynolds Said His Anxiety Is Connected To His Success
In July 2021, Reynolds said on the SmartLess podcast that anxiety is both "useful" and a "shroud of darkness" in his professional and personal life. When co-host Sean Hayes asked him if it's "scary" to get rid of his anxiety which has helped in his success, the actor said that he's "grateful" for his condition and has been managing the negative effects well. "That's the dangerous tightrope walk I think a lot of people are on, right?" Reynolds said of anxiety's connection to success. "I see anxiety as sort of an engine in a way, sometimes for creativity, but it's got its own sort of cloud and shroud of darkness."
Aside from stage fright, Reynolds also links his anxiety with insomnia. "There's a lot of insomnia associated, a lot of sleepless nights where you're laying awake over-analyzing everything, and it's very hard to turn one's brain off," he said. "So that's where you start to rely on meditation and all kinds of other things just to kind of get yourself back to a centered place."
Ryan Reynolds' Anxiety Started During Childhood
The actor said that although he grew up in a fairly normal household, his relationship with his father wasn't that good. "It started as a kid," Reynolds said of his anxiety's roots. "My household that I grew up in wasn't overly awful in the grand scheme of things, certainly as compared to some people, but my dad was never an easy person to be around. He was like a skin-covered landmine. Like you just never knew when you're gonna step on the wrong spot, and he was just going to explode."
In order to cope, he started thinking about the future a lot. "I think predicting the future is a big brick in a wall of anxiety," he explained. "We cannot predict the future, so you're constantly living in this thing that may or may not happen, this place-based scenario." He also associated that mechanism with his career in Hollywood. "In this business, we all kind of tend to do that, where we project into the future. 'What's it like to be this person?'" Reynolds continued. "Comedy is a little bit like that. You're thinking, 'How do I come 90 degrees to expectation in this moment.' It's all kind of born of that same thing with wheels that sort of don't shut off."
