Howard Stern Exposed 39-Year-Old Jerry Seinfeld For Dating A 17-Year-Old In A Song Before They Became Friends

Howard Stern has had a lot of cancel-worthy moments, like ceaselessly asking Anna Nicole Smith to step on a weighing scale. But there were also times when he was kind of the scandal's hero. One recent example would be him defending his wife Beth Stern from Bill Maher's "sexist" remarks.

The gesture drew mixed reactions from fans, especially since the "King of All Media" gained notoriety for spewing such comments himself. It's probably why his musical exposé of Jerry Seinfeld's "jailbait" 17-year-old girlfriend has almost been forgotten.

In the 1990s, the radio icon teamed up with At Seventeen hitmaker, Janis Ian, for the parody, Seinfeld's Girl Is 17. Later on, the richest Seinfeld alum explained on The Howard Stern Show that he "didn't realize" his ex-girlfriend "was so young" when they first met. Here's the real story behind that.

Howard Stern And Janis Ian Wrote A Song About Jerry Seinfeld's 17-Year-Old Girlfriend

During a New Year's event, Stern and Ian performed Seinfeld's Girls Is 17 onstage after singing it on the former's radio show. The host introduced their set, saying: "A little special song for Jerry Seinfeld. This should really f--- his New Year's up. You've got to get a sense of humor." The performance then began with Ian playing the guitar and Stern singing:

Ian added: "Can't he find some older dame / Private parts all look the same / Does he make her fare and shout / When he sticks his tongue in her mouth / Does he think he's some kind of stud."

You can see why this track has been elusive on the internet. "Does Jerry Seinfeld has a brain / When he sees her does he make a stain," the song concludes. "Can't he get an older girl / He's damn near old as Milton Berle / You're making such a spectacle / Thinking with your test--les / If you're gonna make some glue / You should date some girls as old as you."

Jerry Seinfeld Told Howard Stern He "Didn't Realize" His 17-Year-Old Girlfriend "Was So Young"

via: Instar

Right after Lonstein-Gruss turned 18, Seinfeld went on The Howard Stern Show to set the record straight on their scandalous relationship. "So, you sit in Central Park and have a candy bar on a string and pull it when the girls come?" the host quipped, to which the in-denial actor responded: "She's not 17, definitely not."

Of course, people didn't buy his story. Many were convinced that the relationship was sexual from the time he started dating Lonstein-Gruss at 17 to when they called it quits four years later. "I am not an idiot. Shoshanna is a person, not an age," the Bee Movie star stated, years later. "She is extremely bright. She's funny, sharp, very alert. We just get along. You can hear the click."

He even played the non-discrimination card. "When I like someone, I don't care about her race, creed or national origin. If I like her, I don't care. I don't discriminate. If she's 18, if she's intelligent, that's fine," said Seinfeld. After their split, he revealed that they "were very much in love. But the timing wasn't quite right." They "almost got married," too. It does sound like an age gap issue...

Here's a list of Seinfeld's public relationships, including their ages at that time:

Howard Stern And Jerry Seinfeld Like Annoying Each Other

via: Instar

Seinfeld didn't seem offended by Stern's "special song" for him. The two are actually good friends. In 2020, the latter called out the stand-up comic for attacking him in his Netflix special, 23 Hours to Kill. "When I was watching the special, there was a chunk of business where I felt you were attacking me," Stern alleged during the interview.

"There's two places that I went, 'Oh, s--t. I do that with Jerry, and I think, I think it's me that he's talking about," added the self-aware snark. "You talk about all your friends are annoying, but if I go and get new friends, they're going to be eventually just as annoying. I feel at this point I'm a friend of yours. And I must be one of those annoying people."

"Yes, you are. You are," replied the Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee host. "Aren't you also annoyed by me?" Stern said, "Yeah. I am." Needless to say, their friendship's love language is annoying each other. They'd also rather stick with each other than find new friends. "We can switch. We can get other friends, but they're going to have annoying things too," Seinfeld said of the hassle of making new pals.

"And it's the same movies, and meals, and holidays. And changing all the numbers in the phone is what makes it not worth doing." Agreeing about their mutual tendency to "aggravate" others in their profession, Seinfeld said, "Anybody wants out, fine. Door's open behind you."