Summary
- Robert Downey Jr.'s former girlfriend Sarah Jessica Parker tried to save him from substance abuse in the '80s.
- His sobriety journey also involved failed marriages, jail time, and struggles.
- Ultimately, his wife Susan Downey gets credit for "saving" him with an ultimatum.
Long before his life-changing decision to get sober, Robert Downey Jr. found support in his former girlfriend, Sarah Jessica Parker. But years later, the only person who gets credit for RDJ getting cleaned up is his wife, Susan Downey. Well, and maybe a fast food joint.
Sarah Jessica Parker did her best to save Robert Downey Jr. from drug abuse in the '80s, but it took a long road — plus prison time and a failed marriage — for Robert to turn things around. Ultimately, only his wife gets credit for 'saving' him, although the story isn't as straightforward as some interviews suggest.
Sarah Jessica Parker Tried To 'Save' Robert Downey Jr. In The '80s
SJP spent years trying to save RDJ from substance abuse
Robert Downey Jr. and Sarah Jessica Parker only have positive things to say about each other today, but the truth is, they had a difficult relationship in the late '80s to early '90s. After meeting on set and getting together in 1984, the couple struggled due to Robert's substance abuse.
Parker explained about her attempts to help her then-boyfriend, saying, "People around him would be dismissive of me, but I had given him stability and tried to create a steady heartbeat that allowed him to show up on time. That made me angry and embarrassed me."
Despite the struggles, Sarah Jessica Parker admitted to staying with Robert Downey Jr. in an attempt to save his life. She worried he would hurt himself if she didn't stay, which ultimately she realized wasn't healthy. Eventually, she couldn't do it any longer, and they broke up in 1991.
Years later, SJP unequivocally stated that she had no regrets over the time spent. For RDJ's part, he has "great respect" for his ex-girlfriend and acknowledges what she tried to do for him.
"She provided me a home and understanding. She tried to help me," the actor related. "She was so miffed when I didn’t get my act together."
It took more than his supportive girlfriend to turn Robert Downey Jr.'s life around — including another relationship, his first child, and jail time.
Robert Downey Jr. Finally Quit Drugs In The Early 2000s
After jail time and a divorce, RDJ seemed ready to turn his life around
Robert's life didn't immediately get better after he and Sarah Jessica Parker broke up. In fact, things got a lot worse first. In 1992, he met and — around 40 days later — married Deborah Falconer, an actress.
They had a son together the following year, but amid all of that, RDJ had several unsuccessful attempts at rehab and wound up in jail. His wife left him, taking their son with her.
In interviews years later, RDJ spoke about his time in jail, saying he was "over-sentenced by an angry judge" and that the facility he went to was "arguably the most dangerous place" he'd ever been in his life because the criminals weren't separated by offense level.
RDJ, who was in for drug and weapon charges, said he could "just feel the evil in the air." Ultimately, the actor spent 15 months (of a three-year sentence) behind bars. However, in 2015, he was pardoned by California's governor, which meant that his crimes were forgiven because of good conduct (not necessarily innocence).
After he got out of prison, though, Downey Jr. still wasn't ready to change his life — until his next girlfriend issued him an ultimatum.
Today, Susan Downey Gets All The Credit For Pushing Downey Jr. To End His Addiction
A commonly-told story gives Robert Downey Jr.'s wife all the credit for 'saving' him
Robert Downey Jr. got out of prison in 2000 thanks to his early release, but by the time he met his now-wife Susan Downey in 2003, he was still struggling with drugs and going in and out of rehab.
Susan turned Robert down repeatedly, but eventually decided to give him a chance.
The same year, RDJ stopped his substance abuse, and it was no coincidence. Years later, Robert and his wife Susan spoke publicly about their relationship and RDJ's path to sobriety, and Robert attributes his success entirely to his wife.
During an interview, Susan spoke about Robert's past with addiction, saying she would not take credit for anything beyond issuing an ultimatum that Robert get clean, or she would leave him. But Robert interpreted it differently, adding that the ultimatum conversation was "The clearest conversation I’ve ever had in my life." Knowing there was "zero wiggle room," Robert concluded, "Ultimatums work."
His wife chimed in that they only work if the person is ready, to which RDJ quipped, "You make me ready," which follows Robert's claims that he and his wife make each other better.
That piece of the story is, however, very different from the one Robert has told many times over the years. Other versions of his recovery story involve Robert trying to enjoy a Burger King burger but being unable to due to his substance abuse, then throwing his drugs into the ocean and declaring he was ready to get sober.
That story ties in well with Robert's explanation of why Tony Stark eats fast food in Iron Man, but it apparently wasn't the whole story. Plus, there's the fact that Mel Gibson also funded RDJ's comeback film, effectively jump-starting his career.
But fans can't fault RDJ for embracing the version of his story that makes his wife the hero and a burger a symbol of a would-be hero on his way to redemption, especially since it echoes — or perhaps inspired — Tony Stark's journey on screen.
