An Exclusive Interview With The Ultimatum's Zaina Sesay

Season 3 of The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On only had one couple who ended up together after the experiment. But it still gave us good reality TV drama; thanks to J.R. Warren, who practically set himself up on that "hall pass" reputation after his then-partner of three years, Zaina Sesay, issued him an ultimatum.

J.R. has also been accused of using the show for social media clout while Zaina was praised for the way she handled the experiment. In our exclusive interview with Zaina, she told TheThings why she decided to stay with J.R. despite his obvious red flags.

We then had a couple of laughs, talking about J.R.'s feud with Netflix's new art guy, Nick Tramontin, who issued the ultimatum to Sandy Gallagher—J.R.'s trial wife. And for the concerned fans, Zaina set the record straight on Scotty Lewis' "serial killer" vibes during their trial marriage.

Zaina Wouldn't Have Stayed With J.R. Had He Not Assured Her Many Times

Zaina Admits She Was "Delusional" During Her Relationship With J.R.

The Ultimatum's J.R. Warren and Zaina Sesay — The Ultimatum Season 3 stars, J.R. Warren and Zaina Sesay

During TheThings' chat with Zaina, I told her I had a feeling that J.R. had given her assurances throughout The Ultimatum experiment. Otherwise, she wouldn't have made the effort to surprise him with gifts, which fans said was "delusional" of her. She agreed, revealing that J.R. also assured her they had a "strong enough foundation" to join the show.

Speaking about their mutual decision to go on the show, Zaina told TheThings: "In the real world, whenever future talk would come up, he would run away from it. I felt like this would be a good opportunity for us both to have these healthy conversations about what the issues are and why he's hesitant about taking the next step."

Zaina added that she wanted to have a "boundary conversation" upon signing up for the show. But, of course, J.R. "shut it down," convincing her that they "didn't need" it. She then assumed that they'd still date after the show or that he at least wouldn't have taken the experience as a hall pass.

But looking back, Zaina admitted she was "delusional in love." Yes, she's aware of fans calling her out for not seeing J.R.'s red flags early on. She further explained that she "trusted J.R. so much" and that she didn't recognize his screen persona, which she only discovered by watching the show a year later.

Zaina and J.R. decided to join The Ultimatum after seeing a pop-up for casting but at that time, he was already starting to get distant.

Zaina noted that during their trial marriage, J.R. kept in contact with her like they were a couple temporarily away from each other. "He was giving me stuff, and I was doing it in return," she said of their "reciprocal" relationship. "To make it seem like I was the one chasing (during the reunion)... No, you were giving me a lot of validation and reassurance."

Zaina Was Never Scared Of Scotty During His Blowouts In The Ultimatum

Zaina Clarified That Scotty Didn't Put His Hand On Her

Fans were genuinely concerned about Zaina whenever Scotty got upset during their trial marriage. They thought he was giving "serial killer" vibes with his stares, especially during a heated confrontation where he claimed Zaina was badmouthing him to J.R. But Zaina told TheThings it was more bizarre than "terrifying," as most felt.

It did feel like an interrogation... Me, personally, I was not scared... I had actually walked away. I walked into the bathroom, I came back, he's still staring. So I was like, 'Okay, what's going on.'

When asked about that brief moment when Scotty seemingly grabbed her wrist, Zaina said that it wasn't aggressive at all and that he was only trying to get a hug. Speaking with Zaina, you could tell that she's developed some skills at de-escalating such blowouts, probably from previous experiences and a deep understanding that we each have different emotional responses.

I then told her that the "petty Zay" label from J.R. seemed like a dismissive reaction to her simple communication of her feelings. It coincided with what she said about Scotty getting "frustrated" because he couldn't get her to accept his accusations on camera. "Standing up for yourself isn't petty," Zaina reflected, joking that maybe her "nail chip" bit on the reunion was petty.

Zaina Thought J.R. Was "Focused On Getting Under Nick's Skin"

Zaina Felt J.R. Came After Nick "At Her Expense"

The Ultimatum's Nick Tramontin and J.R. Warren — The Ultimatum Season 3 stars, Nick Tramontin and J.R. Warren during the finale

When you watch Season 3, J.R. and Nick's feud takes center stage, as if they didn't come in with partners who were invested in the relationship experiment. During our interview, Zaina even made a playful remark about Nick "accidentally" getting the same tattoo as J.R. There's no denying that the guys brought the drama to The Ultimatum this time. Zaina agreed with my observation, saying:

J.R. was focused on getting under Nick's skin at my expense, too. Some of the digs he was doing... Your girl is right across the table, and you're talking about going to his girl's Christmas dinner with her family. What is wrong with you?

After the show, J.R. refused to give Zaina any closure. "I do question if that was real love, if it was convenient love," she confessed to TheThings, adding that they were a "Covid relationship."

She also noted that what J.R. said about his childhood was not new information to her as the edit made it seem. They had gotten "deep" into their connection pretty fast, having been together during the pandemic.

When I asked about her current love life, Zaina said that after "closing that chapter" with J.R. (without any closure from him), she took the time to heal instead of "medicating my pain through new people," as she called it. She's also been focused on freezing her eggs, which she has documented on her Instagram.