The 'Mandatory' Rules Netflix's The Ultimatum Contestants Must Follow, But End Up Breaking

Summary

• Couples on Netflix's The Ultimatum must choose to get married or break up after a trial marriage with a potential new partner.
• The show has minimal rules, allowing for dramatic altercations and controversial moments between contestants.
• Producers seek out real couples at a crossroads in their relationship, pushing them to confront their issues on screen.

The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On is one of Netflix's most outrageous reality shows. It follows couples who are on the verge of either getting married or splitting up. The contestants spend several weeks of the reality TV show in a trial marriage with another contestant who isn't their partner before returning to their original partner.

They must then make a decision to keep their relationship together or to move on. Ultimately, every couple gets engaged, breaks up, or pursues a relationship with the new partner.

Unlike other shows in the genre, there are very few rules for those who take part. Producers have admitted they purposely don't lay down rules that can't be enforced. This means pretty much anything goes for those taking part in The Ultimatum.

The Ultimatum Contestants Aren't Supposed To Contact Their "Ex"

Although it is not a strict rule, the producers of The Ultimatum don't want their contestants to be in touch with their exes. Of course, some people do not listen to this rule. "Exes" are the partners each contestant came into the show in a relationshp with before entering into their trial marriage.

Although they do not create rules that can't be enforced, The Ultimatum: Queer Love executive producer Chris Coelen told Variety, "So there’s no rule, but you're living in a trial marriage, and usually you've agreed that the person you've arrived to the experience with is your ex. You have broken up with them. So normally in a marriage, it would be odd—if not against the quote unquote 'rules'—to be texting your ex married to somebody else."

During Experiment The Ultimatum Contestants Aren't Supposed To Get Violent With Castmates

The show has been criticized because every season and version of The Ultimatum depicts or mentions a violent altercation between couples. The production team has defended the actions of those involved and confirmed that production did handle the altercations.

In episodes seven and eight of 2022's The Ultimatum, Isaiah "Zay" Wilson and Rae Williams got into an altercation that left viewers concerned about the show and its rules. After he went out with his friends and didn't come home until 8am, Rae ended up getting physical with Zay. These scenes were not shown and Rae felt bad about it afterward.

"We obviously have cameras in the units and we have people monitoring them all the time. We have given each of the cast members immediate access and support and encouragement and ability to get in touch with us at any time," executive producer, Chris said in regard to how the production team handled the violent situation. "In that particular situation, where she goes out into the hall, there was a producer out there in the hall, because we are all in the same building, and she oversaw."

"Rae felt bad about it. Obviously if it was in a really bad or dangerous place, we would have stepped in. To [Zay]'s credit, he did not respond in that manner. Is it right what she did? Absolutely not. Does she admit that it wasn't right? Absolutely. Does she apologize? Absolutely. It was wrong for her to do that..."

"It was a real moment and that the consequences were there."

The Ultimatum: Queer Love reunion revealed what happened to Mildred Bustillo after their violent outburst. Mildred admitted that they were arrested for throwing a picture frame and a pet gate at Tiff Der. Tiff later claimed they told producers about the arrest but refused to keep her apart from Mildred.

In season two of The Ultimatum, Lisa Horne shocked audiences after she was filmed hitting her boyfriend, Brian Okoye, across the face in front of the other contestants. Their altercation started after he flirted with another woman before Lisa found out she was pregnant.

“I would like to apologize to my fellow cast members, family, and friends who were affected by my time on the show. I have apologized to both Brian and Riah privately and now am doing so publicly,” Lisa wrote in a statement shared on Instagram after the show ended.

How Netflix Casts The Ultimatum

Like any reality TV show, finding a good cast for audiences to care about is key to making a good program. For The Ultimatum, producers pick a location to find couples in. For the first season, they chose Austin, Texas because it "sounded cool and was a great city."

"Just like on Love Is Blind, we cast in a specific geographic area. We also wanted to do the same thing in The Ultimatum because if someone is going to make a choice, we wanted it to work for them in the real world."

Chris Coelen, the Kinetic Content CEO responsible for Love Is Blind, Married at First Sight and The Ultimatum revealed how they find the contestants for the Netflix reality show: "We obviously do everything that normal casting teams do in terms of being out on social media, but also, we really do try to dig deep into the community and talk to people and go out to community groups and bars and anywhere you can go in this time."

Casting producers are looking for couples who have been together for at least a year and are at a crossroads in their relationship. The team at The Ultimatum doesn't just look for couples to cast; they also look to discover potential love connections for the pairs. "We had lots of different couples and configurations that we could have put in the mix," Coelen explained.

"We weren't matching these people up into their new relationships, they were doing that on their own," he added. "But we wanted to make sure every person who was participating in the experience had people that we felt like, at least on paper, that they would be interested in."